he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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