the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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