literally had 100 drinks last night.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
