Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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