Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
