i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
