i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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