you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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