Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
