So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
