She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
