true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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