She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
