they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
