sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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