OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
