she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
