How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
