How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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