Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
