is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
