Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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