"it" just moved
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
