If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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