I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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