So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
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