my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
