My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
