so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize