She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
