Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
