I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
My pussy is not your playground.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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