Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
