I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
