Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
That reminds me...we need to get swords
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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