They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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