I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize