Can Purell be used as lube?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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