You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
