Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
