Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
