I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
