It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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