sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
