you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
