See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
