thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
