i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize