It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize