dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
