is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
