I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
