Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
