fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
