i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
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