I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I came so hard my ears popped.
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